We're two days away from Aaron's memorial service. It feels like the last half-week has flown by in a huge rush. I mean...we've gotten a ton of stuff done and ready for Tuesday - flowers, funeral arrangements, pictures, you-name-it. So, we have kept busy, and I guess that contributes to the "time flying bye", but it just seems like the last couple of days have been crazy.
It's still hard to sleep at night. DrummerWife and I take a lot of Tylenol PM before bed to help us sleep, and it does indeed help us sleep. But we each wake up during the night, and it's hard to fall back to sleep when you're waking up from a dream about your wife holding your baby while you hold her. Then you wake up, realize it was all a dream and that your son is gone, and you just lay there. It's kinda rough.
What else is rough is smelling the scent of Aaron on the little stuffed lamb our friends' son gave him. The nurses wrapped him with it after he passed so we could hold him, and some of Aaron's scent came off on it. And now...it's really hard to get even the smallest whiff of that lamb without crying.
But...each day gets easier for both of us. It's still hard, and I'm sure Tuesday will be very difficult, but it is getting easier.
It's still hard to sleep at night. DrummerWife and I take a lot of Tylenol PM before bed to help us sleep, and it does indeed help us sleep. But we each wake up during the night, and it's hard to fall back to sleep when you're waking up from a dream about your wife holding your baby while you hold her. Then you wake up, realize it was all a dream and that your son is gone, and you just lay there. It's kinda rough.
What else is rough is smelling the scent of Aaron on the little stuffed lamb our friends' son gave him. The nurses wrapped him with it after he passed so we could hold him, and some of Aaron's scent came off on it. And now...it's really hard to get even the smallest whiff of that lamb without crying.
But...each day gets easier for both of us. It's still hard, and I'm sure Tuesday will be very difficult, but it is getting easier.
Comments
Tylenol PM has been a life saver for Craig and myself as well!
The service we held for Curtis on Saturday wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It was a time for everyone who couldn't before to meet our son, through pictures, through momentos, through words we wrote and spoke. We actually were very "together" during this time.
It is the quiet moments in the days after that have been diffucult and will continue to be so in the weeks and months ahead.
Much love to your family and your beautiful son. I will be thinking and praying for you