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33 Weeks

Dear Aaron,

Hi peanut! Happy 33 Week Heaven Day. Sometimes I wish time would just stop for a little while. I really hate that it just keeps getting further and further from when we were with you, from when I got to touch you, hold your hand, kiss your forehead, cheek, itty bitty nose etc. I am going away this weekend to go to a scrapbooking weekend. I am looking forward to a weekend away.

Of course every time something like this comes up there are also memories...I went to this same weekend last year and I was pregnant. I can remember your daddy saying he was looking forward to what would be his last weekend alone for what would probably be a long time. We knew once you got here you would keep us hoppin'. I can also remember your two grandmothers "fighting" over which one would be able to keep you this year so that I could go away and daddy could have the weekend to himself. Look, I only like 12 weeks pregnant with you and you were in high demand. I thought about whether or not I would even want to or be able to leave you for a whole weekend. UGH!

Sometimes it seems like nothing is ever easy, sometimes I wonder if things will ever go back to normal again, if I'll EVER look at a situation and not think of how you would have impacted it, changed things etc. I've decided it is not possible. You made a huge impact on me and for the rest of my life I know there will always be times I think, "If Aaron were here...". Also, I am more than okay with that and wouldn't have it any other way. Even if it is only in my head I need to be able to think what things would be like if you were in them. I always hope when we do something fun that you can somehow see it, or know it somehow. That's a bigger question for another day though - I'll never know the answer to that until I am with you again. In the meantime, since you are always in our hearts, you are always in everything your daddy and I do - and I have to believe that you know that.

I love you Aaron.

A million hugs and kisses,
Mommy
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Anonymous said…
Aaron was loved more during his 33 days with us then a lot of people get in a lifetiime and he continues to be loved and remembered daily by many. There is no doubt that Aaron continues to know your love.

Mom W
10:43 AM
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