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39 Weeks

Dear Aaron,

Hello baby boy! Yesterday was a busy day, we had counseling after work and then church etc. By the time we got home it had been a long day and I just did not get a chance to get on the computer. On Monday I had a very rough morning. I was missing you so bad it just hurt. Normally, I am able to figure out what caused my "bad" day, but that day I figured it was nothing other than the fact that I just missed you. That morning it was like I just ached and my arms just wanted to hold you. Sometimes this stuff just happens if I haven't let myself have a good cry. As many times as I tell myself you are in a better place and very happy it doesn't make my pain any less.

You should see all the people that we have walking with us in the March of Dimes walk. That is going to be a nice weekend. Your daddy and I were going to try to figure out what we are going to do the rest of that weekend (since it's your birthday weekend) and get that planned this weekend. Your aunt Jess is coming to visit this weekend to, her birthday is Saturday. I tell you what...you lucked out in the aunt and uncle department. I know I told you this in the NICU, but it's worth repeating. Your aunts and uncles are so loving and so fun...they (along with your grandparents and cousins) would have just spoiled you to death.

I just flipped my calendar today and the photo for the month of March is me holding you for the first time. I look so happy in that picture. Sometimes I wonder if I've looked that happy since. I mean in that picture you can see the happiness in my smile, my eyes, all over. I know I still smile, but I don't think anything will come close to that day for a while. Also we are going to get loops made at the top of the quilt your cousin Bobbi had made for us. I have it on display now and haven't wanted to give it back to have the loops put on it. I look at it every single day, but I do want to get it hung, so I can part with it for a short while. You're everywhere little boy...in my heart, in the house, even when I watch other little kids with their daddies and mommies, I see you and what would have been. I love picturing the three of us in similar situations. I love you peanut and I miss you!

A million hugs and kisses,
Mommy
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Anonymous said…
Aaron - what a lucky little guy you are to have such loving parents. The ache they feel makes us all sad at times. We can't wait to walk for you in April!

Grandma Pam
8:55 PM
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