It just doesn't seem to get any easier.
Well, I just made the mistake of re-reading the comments many of you left here on the day Aaron died, and on the day of his funeral.
I say it was a mistake because I'm now fighting back tears, and failing. Every day I go forward thinking I'm getting better at handling all of this. I see DrummerWife crying as she journals her pain and experiences, and I think to myself, "You're OK. You're handling this. You're not crying, you're not having trouble going through the day. You're improving." And that may be true to a degree - but just reading the beautiful wishes, prayers, and consolations you have all sent to us here reduced me to a teary-eyed mess. At my desk. At work.
I love Aaron so much. That will always be true. And it is such a wonderful thing to know that many of you loved him too, in your own ways. How many people can say that? How many people know, with all certainty, that their child (especially one who lived for such a short time) had such a profound impact on so many lives? DrummerWife and I are lucky, in a way. As hard as it is to see it through the tears and anguish of losing our son, we truly are. Our boy was loved, and not just by us. Not just by family. But by people who have never met him. By some people who have never met someone who has met him.
Thank you, everyone.
I say it was a mistake because I'm now fighting back tears, and failing. Every day I go forward thinking I'm getting better at handling all of this. I see DrummerWife crying as she journals her pain and experiences, and I think to myself, "You're OK. You're handling this. You're not crying, you're not having trouble going through the day. You're improving." And that may be true to a degree - but just reading the beautiful wishes, prayers, and consolations you have all sent to us here reduced me to a teary-eyed mess. At my desk. At work.
I love Aaron so much. That will always be true. And it is such a wonderful thing to know that many of you loved him too, in your own ways. How many people can say that? How many people know, with all certainty, that their child (especially one who lived for such a short time) had such a profound impact on so many lives? DrummerWife and I are lucky, in a way. As hard as it is to see it through the tears and anguish of losing our son, we truly are. Our boy was loved, and not just by us. Not just by family. But by people who have never met him. By some people who have never met someone who has met him.
Thank you, everyone.
Comments
If anyone's entitled to a day (or two, or ten...) of being a teary-eyed mess, I'd say you qualify. Of course no one wants to do it at work...but I say you get a free pass at it. And who knows, it may just get you out of that next project from Hades no one wants and the boss is looking to assign ;-)
Shan
I think being a mess these days jus goes with the territory. Fun, huh?
Love to all of you - Mom W
Tiffany
Monica