Skip to main content

20 Weeks

Dear Aaron,

Happy 20 Week Heaven Day peanut. These past couple days have been rough on me. I have been missing you so terribly much. The holidays are getting closer and closer and its hard to take. We had a very nice time on Daddy's birthday last week though. I gave your daddy and figurine called "New Dad" to remember you that day.

Now Halloween is coming...but before you get the wrong idea I will tell you that your mommy really doesn't like Halloween - it's a dumb "holiday" as far as I am concerned. However, I would have dressed you up when you were younger - and especially as a baby. The costumes are just too darn cute!!! I saw the CUTEST costume. A little fuzzy duckling - it might have been a little big for you this year. Then I saw the cutest Tootsie Roll costume that was for an infant. I would have bought it for you (unless I could have found a peanut). I would have taken tons of pictures. We would have drug you around to see friends and family in it. Oh and your daddy - he probably would have complained and said it was not needed etc. (but deep down he would think you were absolutely adorable to). Over the top? Probably. Fun - eh, you would probably hate being in it and cry a lot. Something I wanted to do - YES! YES! YES! I would have taken you crying and in tears just to show people how cute you were. So I am not delusional - I know how it would most likely go - but I would still do it! And might I remind you your mommy hates Halloween :) Mommy and Daddy do love Thanksgiving and Christmas - so if Halloween is a hurdle, then I don't want to think about what is to come.

I love you sweetheart and I miss you.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hang in there Nikki - those who are here and love you will get you through the holidays - it won't be easy, but we'll do it.

Love you, Mom
8:32 PM
Anonymous said…
Mom is absolutely right Nikki. We all love you and are very sensitive to what lies ahead. Lean on us..forge ahead...make some new memories. God will use us to help you and Josh get through the tough times.

Love you sweetie, Roxie
10:12 AM
Anonymous said…
Hey Nikki and Josh. I look forward to reading your blog everyday. I love how you talk to Aaron and talk about Aaron. I look up to you guys when I am with my daughter. You have tought me so much. I'm here for you anytime, Holiday or not you can lean on me. Lydia and I still pray for you and for Aaron everynight before bed! xoxoxo!!!!
11:12 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aaron didn't make it.

About 3 hours ago, Aaron passed away. After speaking with his doctors earlier in the last few weeks, we decided that if at any point they were no longer supporting Aaron's life, but instead preventing him from dying, that we didn't want him to suffer any longer. We reached that point this morning. Aaron had been struggling for life from Day One, and after surgery, and several weeks of fighting, Aaron ran out of strength. He fought hard, but the strain of surgery just proved to be too much for him. I'm sure I'll feel up to posting more information later. I just don't seem to have any energy left in me for relating this at the moment. But I did feel it was important to share this information with all of you who have been keeping tabs on us. Thank you for your concern, your prayers, and your well-wishes during this difficult time. We love you. P.S.: I'd like to leave you with the following lyrics that popped into my head while we held Aaron as he passed away. They ...
47 comments
Read more

IT WASN'T NEC!

After a long day of sitting at the hospital, hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst, the surgeon came in to talk to us and revealed to us that things went better than anyone could have possibly expected. Aaron never had an infection. What he did have though, was a hernia. He had a loop of intestine trapped beneath another loop, and while it was never "infected," it was trapped and deprived of blood, so it was dead. The surgeon removed the damaged loop, and thankfully, there is plenty more intestine left in there for Aaron. He's recovering peacefully from today's surgery, and was already at 28% oxygen (21% is room air) on the ventilator, and his other stats were all back where they were pre-surgery. He's doing fine. I want to thank everyone for their prayers and well-wishes during this time. I fully believe that Aaron wouldn't have rebounded from yesterday's procedure so quickly, and wouldn't have been as ready for today's if not for those...
25 comments
Read more

2 Years

Two-years ago on May 31st, the world I knew was destroyed. I say this not in a depressing way, but more in a look how far we have come way. Two years ago, our baby boy went to heaven. We were crushed. Josh and I as well as our families. For someone so sweet and innocent to die was beyond our comprehension. I have been writing this entry in my head for 4 days now, but I wanted to get some of it down on paper. To have something go that wrong in your life is truly a life changing experiment. We started counseling right away and were told that we would need to work on finding the "new" us. I am really not sure what that means, but I know we have found it - or at least that we have found some of it. I have changed in the last two years and I know Josh has as well. We have done all that we can think to do to remember Aaron. We have met some amazing people and gotten close to them that have also lost a baby. We have in two years had two very successful March for Babies t...
3 comments
Read more