Two-years ago on May 31st, the world I knew was destroyed. I say this not in a depressing way, but more in a look how far we have come way. Two years ago, our baby boy went to heaven. We were crushed. Josh and I as well as our families. For someone so sweet and innocent to die was beyond our comprehension. I have been writing this entry in my head for 4 days now, but I wanted to get some of it down on paper. To have something go that wrong in your life is truly a life changing experiment. We started counseling right away and were told that we would need to work on finding the "new" us. I am really not sure what that means, but I know we have found it - or at least that we have found some of it.
I have changed in the last two years and I know Josh has as well. We have done all that we can think to do to remember Aaron. We have met some amazing people and gotten close to them that have also lost a baby. We have in two years had two very successful March for Babies teams and in doing so we have raised over $10,000 (in two years) for the March of Dimes. We have volunteered for the March of Dimes and have met some amazing people through that effort as well. We have had 2 very successful Christmas Toy Drives that have made HUNDREDS of sick children very happy. We have become closer to each other and closer with our family and friends. We are better people because of this.
It still hurts...daily. That hurt will always be there, just less. I am starting to be able to think of happier times and remember them. But I am proud of what we have done. Of course, I would rather have a two-year old running around and driving me crazy, but I am beyond proud to be Aaron's mom...in whatever capacity I have to do it in and I know my little boy is smiling down on all of us :-)
I love you Aaron, and I miss you beyond what words can express. I will never stop being a mom to you and you will always be baby. I hope that we can continue remembering you in whatever way we possibly can. I hope when you see all of the things that we are doing you smile and say 'That's my family, my friends, and MY Mommy and Daddy'. We love you more than there are stars in the sky. XOXO, Mommy