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Not So Good

Today wasn't exactly a good day. Aaron's having some trouble. The doctors tell us that he's got some sort of blockage/infection/bubble in his intestine. Their primary concern is that it might burst, rupture, or perforate. If this happens, surgery is the only option.

If it doesn't burst, rupture, or perforate, they're going to assume that it's nothing more than an infection, and they'll treat it with antibiotics. Here's hoping that it's an infection, and nothing more.

I have to confess something, and this is as good a place as any to do so - I don't like being in the NICU when Aaron's having trouble. Even the little problems he's had a long the way - I hate it. I feel so useless, and so invaluable. I just have to stand there, watch my son in distress, and rely on the nurses and doctors to fix it, and it never happens quickly. So...I stand there, wanting to cry, and knowing that I can't because that'll just set DrummerWife off. And the last thing she needs is for her husband to break down when she wants to cry herself.

And tonight...tonight was just downright painful. Aaron looks pale, isn't moving much, and is BACK on the ventilator. All of that is a byproduct of his "infection", but that doesn't make it any easier to look at it. Especially not for a new dad who feels like he's a waste of space standing next to his struggling son's isolette.

Wow. That got really heavy there for a second. Sorry about that. :)

Oh yeah...on top of everything tonight, the radio SUCKED on the ride home. It was polite enough to play me a little bit of Yes, and a Police song, but overall, I think even the radio was out to make me feel like crap tonight.

Also...one new photo at http://www.flickr.com/photos/drummer.

Comments

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