Wednesdays are kind of a weird day. For the last 7 weeks not one can go by without me going - ugh - it's Wednesday - that means its been one more week. When Aaron was alive it was Mondays that we always braced ourselves for - he NEVER had good Monday's...He was transferred on a Monday, got an air leak on a Monday, and then there was the infamous life threading phlegm wad on a Monday AFTER we thought we had made it through the day. It would be just like him to decide to throw mommy and daddy for a loop and make a Wednesday the ULTIMATE worst day ever.
I know we said this before but we have had nothing but support since the moment I was told I was going to probably have Aaron that night. Since he passed away that support has multiplied yet again. I am constantly surprised by letters from the hospital announcing more memorial contributions - that means so much.
People ask us all the time what they can do for us. There really is not a lot. We need time to grieve and it may be a long time, but calls, cards, emails, prayers etc. All mean so much to us. I will also say we have been lucky to not have any bad stories about silly things people say when they mean to be helpful. Just having someone say they don't know what to say is comforting, because we then know that they at least understand how big of a deal this is and they don't want to say anything dumb. One of the best things someone asked me was just today. I was talking about Aaron (which I LOVE to do by the way- what mommy wouldn't), but this person asked me, "Who did he look like?" I was kind of taken back by it at first - but quickly answered...
We always said that Aaron had my nose. When we had an ultrasound at 20 weeks we got a profile of him and my husband said "He has your nose". When he was born that became even more evident. Other than that - we think he looked like his daddy. I know he had his daddy's chin, face shape and eyes. I am pretty sure his eye color would have been the same as his daddy as well, but he never got past that steel grey color - probably around now we would have known better what color eyes he had. We also always said he had some of my personality. In the womb he was very playful. It gave us quite the laugh to that he liked to "tickle his eye" and had a lot of spit - two qualities that are very much his mommy for those who don't know me well. He was also pretty easy going and he liked to be touched by his mommy and daddy- even all the doctors and nurses told us that.
(Okay, so I didn't tell the person I didn't know that well about the spit and all of that, but I did tell him most of it.)
This person that asked me this question was not someone I know that well at all, but the question meant so much to me - thank you for acknowledging my sons life and thank you to all our friends and family who continue to help us grieve, while continuing to talk about him. Things like that is what will ALWAYS be helpful to keep Aaron alive in our hearts until we can meet him in heaven.
I know we said this before but we have had nothing but support since the moment I was told I was going to probably have Aaron that night. Since he passed away that support has multiplied yet again. I am constantly surprised by letters from the hospital announcing more memorial contributions - that means so much.
People ask us all the time what they can do for us. There really is not a lot. We need time to grieve and it may be a long time, but calls, cards, emails, prayers etc. All mean so much to us. I will also say we have been lucky to not have any bad stories about silly things people say when they mean to be helpful. Just having someone say they don't know what to say is comforting, because we then know that they at least understand how big of a deal this is and they don't want to say anything dumb. One of the best things someone asked me was just today. I was talking about Aaron (which I LOVE to do by the way- what mommy wouldn't), but this person asked me, "Who did he look like?" I was kind of taken back by it at first - but quickly answered...
We always said that Aaron had my nose. When we had an ultrasound at 20 weeks we got a profile of him and my husband said "He has your nose". When he was born that became even more evident. Other than that - we think he looked like his daddy. I know he had his daddy's chin, face shape and eyes. I am pretty sure his eye color would have been the same as his daddy as well, but he never got past that steel grey color - probably around now we would have known better what color eyes he had. We also always said he had some of my personality. In the womb he was very playful. It gave us quite the laugh to that he liked to "tickle his eye" and had a lot of spit - two qualities that are very much his mommy for those who don't know me well. He was also pretty easy going and he liked to be touched by his mommy and daddy- even all the doctors and nurses told us that.
(Okay, so I didn't tell the person I didn't know that well about the spit and all of that, but I did tell him most of it.)
This person that asked me this question was not someone I know that well at all, but the question meant so much to me - thank you for acknowledging my sons life and thank you to all our friends and family who continue to help us grieve, while continuing to talk about him. Things like that is what will ALWAYS be helpful to keep Aaron alive in our hearts until we can meet him in heaven.
Comments
Love to both of you and to Aaron.
I am glad someone asked you that. My favorite thing someone said... after they said how sorry they were, they didn't know what to say saw I was okay talking about itetc etc, she then said "so, what kinds of things to people say that tick you off?". It was fun to sit and talk with her about that stuff. And I agree, I love talking about Curtis too. Even though he passed away...I am still a VERY proud mom.
And I know you are to.
Love ya,
Tracey
XOXO