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Nightmares and Dreamscapes...

DrummerWife fell asleep on the couch, as she often does, last night. She even started talking in her sleep, as she often does, last night. But...her dream was different than it usually was. Usual dreams generally include ice-skating monkeys, horse-riding monkeys, needing to go for a walk, needing to go the store, and the like. Last night...well...she was dreaming that it was about 1 year ago, and she was swollen from pre-eclampsia and needed to go to the hospital because something was wrong with her pregnancy.

She kept asking me to take her to the hospital, and I kept telling her that she was sleeping, that the dream wasn't really happening, and that she wasn't sick. I asked her to wake up, and when she finally did, she just started crying. Not that I can blame her.

Being just 3 days from Aaron's birthday, I have to admit it's hard to think back to last year at this time - knowing what we know now - that if someone had put the signs together, if someone had realized it wasn't just the unseasonably warm temperatures that were causing DrummerWife's swelling, that her "heartburn" wasn't really heartburn at all, then maybe Aaron would still be with us, and last year's nightmare would never have happened. And then DrummerWife wouldn't have had last night's nightmare, either.

On a somewhat happier note...the plan is for all A-Team members who want to join us at church on Sunday morning (if you'll be in the area by 8:00ish on Sunday) to wear your team shirt if you have it. We're going to show up in force, and proudly show what we're doing, and to remember Aaron's birthday in the sanctuary he was memorialized in.
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Comments

Anonymous said…
I understand what you mean about just wishing someone had recognized the signs. I doubt any of us will ever feel at peace with the "hindsight" aspect of any of this.

I have been thinking about your family and Aaron all week. I told Nikki we are attending a memorial banquet for infants who passed away and I will light an extra candle in his memory.
11:02 PM
Anonymous said…
Nikki and Josh - you are amazing. You have taught us all so much about being positive in the face of adversity. I'm so much looking forward to the picnic and the walk in Aaron's memory, and to wearing my special shirt on Sunday. Thank you for giving all of us the opportunity to remember Aaron is this very special way.

Love you both... - Roxie
12:16 PM
delphi said…
You are nominated for a Thinking Blogger Award.
3:34 PM
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