Skip to main content

One Year

One whole year.

It's amazing that it's been a full year without you, Aaron. At 12:44, one year ago today, your tiny heart that struggled so much to beat under all the fluid you had retained since your surgery almost 2 weeks earlier, finally stopped. You were in your mother's arms at that moment. I was bent over you, sobbing, with so much of your family gathered around, sending you off.

I know it's probably hard to believe, but the morning you died contained both the single worst, and greatest moments of my life. We lost you, but when you squeezed my finger that morning, right after I told you I loved you, I was so elated. That squeeze had purpose, and meaning, and I don't care what anyone says - you were responding to me. I know in my heart that if you could have spoken in that moment you would have. But since you couldn't, you squeezed my finger twice to say "I love you too, Dad."

Since that day, your mother and I have struggled very hard with our grief - at times nearly losing ourselves to it, and in it. But your grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-grandparents, cousins, and others have never let us slip too far. You would have been such a lucky little boy if you'd made it, Aaron. So many people were ready to love you, and so many people still do.

Since that day, we've also struggled very hard to honor and remember you in ways that will let other people know about you. Your mother has spoken several times to groups about pre-eclampsia and premature birth. We've organized a very successful March of Dimes team. We've collected gifts for the children's ward at the hospital. Throughout the last year, everything we've done, everything we've said, and everything we've stood for has been done with one thought in the back of our minds - "How can we honor our son in this? How can we be an example, for him?"

I hope we've succeeded. I hope something, anything really, positive came out of our losing you.

I love you, Aaron. I love my son, and I'm very proud of you for the short time you were here. You fought so hard. Harder than I ever did for anything. I only hope I can make you proud of me.

Love,
Daddy

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm thinking and praying for both of you today. Lots of love. cmw
Anonymous said…
Josh - your post today is just as beautiful as Nikki's. I hope that both of you will continue to reach out to us whenever you need anything. Never let yourself get lost in your grief - let us help to pull you back. The love and care that you two show to each other is one way that we all know makes Aaron very proud of his mommmy and daddy.

Love, Mom W
Anonymous said…
Lots of love to both of you...Aaron has wonderful wonderful parents.

Popular posts from this blog

Aaron didn't make it.

About 3 hours ago, Aaron passed away. After speaking with his doctors earlier in the last few weeks, we decided that if at any point they were no longer supporting Aaron's life, but instead preventing him from dying, that we didn't want him to suffer any longer. We reached that point this morning. Aaron had been struggling for life from Day One, and after surgery, and several weeks of fighting, Aaron ran out of strength. He fought hard, but the strain of surgery just proved to be too much for him. I'm sure I'll feel up to posting more information later. I just don't seem to have any energy left in me for relating this at the moment. But I did feel it was important to share this information with all of you who have been keeping tabs on us. Thank you for your concern, your prayers, and your well-wishes during this difficult time. We love you. P.S.: I'd like to leave you with the following lyrics that popped into my head while we held Aaron as he passed away. They

Eighteen.

 18, Aaron. Holy shit, kid (calm down, you're 18 in about 5 hours, I can curse in front of you now, plus, I've had a couple drinks, my language is a bit loose). You're an adult. You're old enough to drive, you'd be looking at college or technical school, or backpacking across Europe in a gap year, or whatever weird thing kids are doing when they turn 18 these days. You'd be a person. A complete, fully realized, adult person. That's weird, kid, gotta admit. So, 18 is hitting your mom and I kinda hard. The idea of you at 18 is really blowing our minds. We were just barely not kids ourselves when you were born, and now we're talking about you as an adult. It's amazing to think about. As you well know, we've done a ton of work with, and fundraising for, the March of Dimes; donated money and goods to community health centers; donated craft goods to a local moms and babies' hospital for siblings of newborns; collected toys, pajamas, and games for l

IT WASN'T NEC!

After a long day of sitting at the hospital, hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst, the surgeon came in to talk to us and revealed to us that things went better than anyone could have possibly expected. Aaron never had an infection. What he did have though, was a hernia. He had a loop of intestine trapped beneath another loop, and while it was never "infected," it was trapped and deprived of blood, so it was dead. The surgeon removed the damaged loop, and thankfully, there is plenty more intestine left in there for Aaron. He's recovering peacefully from today's surgery, and was already at 28% oxygen (21% is room air) on the ventilator, and his other stats were all back where they were pre-surgery. He's doing fine. I want to thank everyone for their prayers and well-wishes during this time. I fully believe that Aaron wouldn't have rebounded from yesterday's procedure so quickly, and wouldn't have been as ready for today's if not for those