Baby On Your Six

DrummerWife and I have been re-started counseling sessions with a psychologist now that we've been moved in for almost 2 months. We've met with her 3 times now, and it seems to be going well. Last night, we didn't talk about us, or about what we were feeling, but basically just talked about Aaron. It was wonderful. I love having the opportunity to get all the things I think and feel about Aaron out of my head and vocalize them. It just feels so good to remember him WITH someone for even a brief period of time. Also, lately I've been wrestling with a degree of guilt. I have to assume it's a normal thing - but every time I go even the shortest span of time without dwelling on Aaron, I feel like I've let him down in some way. Rationally, I know that it's okay and healthy to not be dwelling on him, but at the same time, I feel like every moment I don't think about my son, he's slipping further away from me. And that scares me - he's far enoug

Dear Aaron, Hi sweetie! Happy 34 week heaven day peanut. Your daddy and I got our team for WalkAmerica up and running. We were having a tough time deciding on a team name. After a couple suggestions from some friends we decided to go with "The 'A' Team". Your daddy got a kick out of that name. I am so glad we are going to be able to do this and I think its even more appropriate that it is right after your birthday. Lately we got some really nice things in memory of you that have been so nice. At Christmas Grammy and PopPop put a lamb in the garden at Tabor - I keep meaning to take a picture of that, it's adorable. Then, Grandma and Grandpa donated a lamb through the Heifer Project in your memory. The lamb is something your daddy and I just held out to that reminds us of you, because you had a little tiny stuffed lamb that you cuddled with in the hospital - it was just the right size for you. A couple more donations came in from the hospital recentl

We have formed a team for WalkAmerica. It's something we have mentioned before. The walk is going to be on Sunday, April 29, 2007 in Lancaster. Fittingly this is the day after Aaron's Birthday. We plan on doing something either on the 28th or after the walk that Sunday to honor Aaron's birthday, but that is plans for another day... You can sign up for our team, sponsor our team etc. by clicking on the WalkAmerica banner that Drummer put at the top of the postings. It will take you directly to our team page. That is where you can join our team, support our team, or just learn more about what we are doing. I want to be able to possibly do some kind of team fundraiser or two. If you have any ideas let me know. You can get your friends, co-workers and whoever else to sponsor you in the walk. You can collect donations or you can do them online as well. I am listed as the team captain, but it's really our Family team. Just talk to either of us if you have comments

...I was settling in for a long, quiet weekend to myself in our first apartment, knowing my wife was off scrapbooking away, and we were both looking forward to her putting together our baby's scrapbook at next year's event. This year, things are just a tiny bit different. It's so strange to look back at everything that has gone on in the past 1+ year. The amount of changes that have taken place, and how, after everything we're right back where we were in a way. I'm getting ready for a nice weekend alone, although I'll be a little bit busier helping my sister move a new bed in tomorrow. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Dear Aaron, Hi peanut! Happy 33 Week Heaven Day. Sometimes I wish time would just stop for a little while. I really hate that it just keeps getting further and further from when we were with you, from when I got to touch you, hold your hand, kiss your forehead , cheek, itty bitty nose etc. I am going away this weekend to go to a scrapbooking weekend. I am looking forward to a weekend away. Of course every time something like this comes up there are also memories...I went to this same weekend last year and I was pregnant. I can remember your daddy saying he was looking forward to what would be his last weekend alone for what would probably be a long time. We knew once you got here you would keep us hoppin '. I can also remember your two grandmothers "fighting" over which one would be able to keep you this year so that I could go away and daddy could have the weekend to himself. Look, I only like 12 weeks pregnant with you and you were in high demand. I thought

Dear Aaron, Happy 32 week Heaven Day peanut! Tonight daddy and I went to a meeting for the March of Dimes about Walk America. We're going to get a team together and do the walk in your memory this year. Talk about timing, it's on April 29 th , one day after your birthday. They obviously do the walk the same weekend every year, because I can remember being in the hospital last year and seeing the commercials and a news story about the walk and about prematurity and sitting there just crying. I wish we could be doing this walk pushing you in the stroller telling people our success story, but I am just as proud to walk it as your mommy and make sure everyone knows all about you! We also took a tour of the NICU tonight. That was kind of interesting seeing a different NICU . Still brings those memories RIGHT back though. Seeing those tiny babies and remembering how small you really were. And speaking of those memories...we were visiting a new church again for the second t

See weekly letter to Aaron below in separate post... The toy drive was a great success (as the picture to the left shows). We would like to thank all of you that participated. It warms our hearts that Aaron was in your thoughts and on your hearts this holiday season. We know there will be a lot of kids that will LOVE all the new things. We wanted to let you all see what we collected! Hopefully next year we'll have the second annual toy drive in Aaron's Memory. Here's the list: A Baby Gym *this was from mommy and daddy* 4 Fuzzy posters 2 Twenty Question games 13 Teething rings 5 rattles a rattle/ teether 2 mini- magnadoodles 16 matchbox cars 4 hot wheels High School Musical DVD Cars DVD Little Rascals DVD Haunted Mansion DVD Air Buddies DVD Nanny McFee DVD Barnyard DVD Teen Titans for Game Cube 3 pairs of socks 1 pair of slippers 8 lip glosses Stack of rings Elmo see and say Latch hook kit hand held Tetris game Yahtzee Sorry Little People Airplane Baby Einstein pop up b

Dear Aaron, Happy 31 week Heaven Day baby boy! I hope you are doing great! Daddy and I had a nice New Year's...it definately was not nearly as tough as Christmas. We had some friends over and played games...we had fun. Daddy was a little sick before New Year's Eve and now he gave me his cold (bad Daddy!). New Year's Eve was the 7 month mark since you died. SEVEN MONTHS! I really can't believe it. We talk about you so much and think about you so much it just does not seem possible that it has been that long. That means you'd be just over 8 months old. I can't even imagine what you would be doing. I have to look to some other babies I know that were born at that time and look at their pictures and see what their mommy and daddy do with them. We took the toys to the hospital this weekend. I bet you made a lot of kids that are sick very happy. You made your mommy and daddy very proud. There are so many people that love you and thought of you over the