To my sweet baby boy:
Aaron, I can hardly believe it has been 8 weeks and at the same time sometimes I wonder if it was a lifetime ago. Earlier today I was thinking about when you started yawning. That was what I thought would be the first of many "milestones" I would see you go through. I thought it was neat that I got to experience that - when many mothers don't experience seeing the first yawns because they occur in the womb. Little did I know that would be the last milestone I saw. I guess technically the first milestone was your first poop, I remember how excited daddy and I were for that one - but I must say, sweetie, the whole yawn thing was A LOT cuter.
I read something last week that has continued to comfort me through all of this. It was written to mommy and daddy's and it said - "Take comfort in the fact that the only thing your child will ever know is love." Boy were you loved. I know I told you every day how loved you were and how lucky we were. The day that sticks out the most is Memorial Day. So many family members came to visit you - some were just meeting you for the first time. We spent the whole day there with you with family rotating in and out of the NICU. Everyone said you were adorable - even though you were so puffy. I thought you were beautiful no matter what, but also knew I was the mommy. We laughed that day ("Hey Buddy") and we cried that day. There was probably about an hour of complete silence where we couldn't take our eyes off of your monitor because your numbers weren't looking so great. The next day you were better - that was the day daddy got to hold you for the first time and your nurse that day let us have you out of the isolette for nearly 3 hours. That was the day before you left us.
Now I look back and I know you gave us that time Monday and Tuesday - I think you were fighting hard until we were ready to let you go. Not that we were ever ready, but you were giving us time to know you more and love you more than we thought possible. Then we could clearly see your signs on Wednesday that you were ready to leave us. Thank you for all of that time. Thank you for the best 33 days of my life.
I love you Aaron - bigger than the whole wide world!
Hugs and Kisses -
Mommy
Aaron, I can hardly believe it has been 8 weeks and at the same time sometimes I wonder if it was a lifetime ago. Earlier today I was thinking about when you started yawning. That was what I thought would be the first of many "milestones" I would see you go through. I thought it was neat that I got to experience that - when many mothers don't experience seeing the first yawns because they occur in the womb. Little did I know that would be the last milestone I saw. I guess technically the first milestone was your first poop, I remember how excited daddy and I were for that one - but I must say, sweetie, the whole yawn thing was A LOT cuter.
I read something last week that has continued to comfort me through all of this. It was written to mommy and daddy's and it said - "Take comfort in the fact that the only thing your child will ever know is love." Boy were you loved. I know I told you every day how loved you were and how lucky we were. The day that sticks out the most is Memorial Day. So many family members came to visit you - some were just meeting you for the first time. We spent the whole day there with you with family rotating in and out of the NICU. Everyone said you were adorable - even though you were so puffy. I thought you were beautiful no matter what, but also knew I was the mommy. We laughed that day ("Hey Buddy") and we cried that day. There was probably about an hour of complete silence where we couldn't take our eyes off of your monitor because your numbers weren't looking so great. The next day you were better - that was the day daddy got to hold you for the first time and your nurse that day let us have you out of the isolette for nearly 3 hours. That was the day before you left us.
Now I look back and I know you gave us that time Monday and Tuesday - I think you were fighting hard until we were ready to let you go. Not that we were ever ready, but you were giving us time to know you more and love you more than we thought possible. Then we could clearly see your signs on Wednesday that you were ready to leave us. Thank you for all of that time. Thank you for the best 33 days of my life.
I love you Aaron - bigger than the whole wide world!
Hugs and Kisses -
Mommy
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